'Light at the end of the tunnel'

Graphite and Charcoal drawing titled 'Light at the end of the tunnel'. Which is my fourth completed large A1 (594x841mm) drawing and took about 115 hours over 16 days to complete.

Although this drawing is open to interpretation and people can take from it what they like. The reasoning behind it is actually quite specific and is really about ‘depression’. I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember, and although I am ok now, for a long time I was in a really dark and suicidal place.

Luckily I managed to get help and started drawing again 4 years ago which helped me break out of my depression. Unfortunately for allot of people, especially men, talking about their issues and problems is very difficult. Which is why the highest reason for male deaths, is from suicide.

So this drawing is trying to convey how I felt when I was depressed. As although everyone is laughing there is a man in the middle of the drawing who is not, this is supposed to represent me. And the dark clouds are meant to represent the depression trying to overcoming me.

And the reason why everyone is laughing is because one of the things I've always hated, especially when depressed, was when people would laugh hysterically. As I have hardly ever laughed hysterically, so it’s something that I have always had a hard time understanding.

This is due to the fact then when I was severely depressed, I could not understand why others were so happy. As I had a warped version of reality, where I thought everyone else was having a great time and had amazing lives, while I was miserable. Obviously, now looking back I know that is not true, as everyone has problems and lots of people suffer silently with depression.

Although this drawing is about depression it is not just doom and gloom and has a positive side. As someone who has been through years of depression, one thing I can say is that depression does not last forever. So the dark clouds that are representing depression, in my artwork, is slowly starting to disperse and a ray of light is shining through and beating back the dark clouds of depression.

And i hope by me being so open about my struggles and how I overcame my battle with depression, that others can see that the dark black hole that they think they are there in, is not real. And that if they persevere and get help that there is ‘light at the end of the tunnel’.